From the Depths of Eternity

 

FROM THE DEPTH OF ETERNITY.

Author: N.N.Sidorenko, grandson and cell attendant of St. Luke of Crimea.

Grandpa invited us to Simferopol in 1946. Now that I have grown old, I can imagine what a feat it was: to live in close quarters with small children. At that time I was 10 years old, my brother was 6 years old and my cousin was 8. We made a lot of noise and played around quite often. And grandfather endured all this. Then the family grew even more, relatives moved in, almost every summer the grandfather's sons and his daughter with grandchildren visited. And with such a crowd, grandfather did not stop working until the last day. He dictated his memories, carefully composed sermons, wrote the book "Essays on Regional Anesthesia", tried to keep abreast of the latest achievements in medicine and political events in the world.

I was Vladyka's cell attendant for exactly 15 years. Seen his life from day to day. I am still amazed at the grandeur, calmness and steadfastness of his faith. He was a genius doctor and diagnostician: he just had to touch the sore spot to make a diagnosis. He treated famous people, was a laureate of the Stalin Prize for the book "Essays on Purulent Surgery" and a brilliant scientific career opened before him. But the main thing was to serve God.

The impression of how Vladyka Luke served remained for the whole life. He was standing before the Lord. He pronounced every word clearly so that it would sink deeply. He read the Great Penitential Canon of St. Andrew of Crete with particular inspiration. He read the Bible every day, and tried to accustom us to daily communication with the word of God. His stories from the sacred history sounded heartfelt, he experienced biblical events as his own life.

While he could still see, he tried to serve the liturgy every day, even if only two or three old women came to church. He continued to serve even when he was completely blind. I was amazed at this feat of the Vladyka: after all, not only blindness aggravated him, but also diabetes, from which he had a terrible weakness, so that even all Vladyka's clothes were wet, while having sore legs due to severe thrombophlebitis and gout. Before the service I had to bandage his legs. But he never cut services short and at home he always prayed for a very long time.

At each service, he tried to preach a sermon, for which he had been preparing for a long time at home. He dictated to the secretary, Evgenia Pavlovna, then she read what was written. The sermon was given even with an empty church. Sometimes you stand, listen to his deepest words, and even feel hurt for grandfather. But on holidays, of course, a lot of people gathered. At the all-night vigil, despite his weakness, Vladyka always anointed the parishioners with holy oil, did it slowly, clearly pronouncing over each one: "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Blind and weak, Vladyka Luke served the diocese until his death, was aware of all matters, listened to reports, examined everything himself, passed resolutions, if he could, visited distant parishes. Vladyka Luke attracted many people to the church, especially the intelligentsia, doctors. After all, he talked a lot with people outside the church, constantly gathered doctors at his place. In the bishop's house, when Vladyka was healthy, there was a sign about the reception of the sick.

In general, grandfather lived according to a strict schedule, tried not to lose a single minute: everything was calculated by the clock - getting up, prayer, work. When we arrived in Simferopol, he was working on the book Spirit, Soul and Body. On the table are photographs of his sons, to them in his mind he turned the evidence of the existence of God. Vladyka Luke's deep heartache was that his children, prominent scientists, smart people, grew up as unbelievers. After all, they spent their childhood and youth in camps and exiles.

The greatest pain for Vladyka was the widespread closure of churches in the diocese. In his office hung a map of the Crimea, where all active churches were marked with crosses. It was bitter to remove these crosses from the map.

I also remember how my grandfather often sighed: “I didn’t sleep all night - I thought, how can this authorized person give orders, where to serve which priest?” At every step one could feel how powerless our Church is.

From childhood I was surprised in my grandfather that he never pretended how difficult or bad it was for him, never got irritated, but was always even and calm with people. Let me give you an example. Grandpa was a passionate swimmer. At the age of 80, completely blind, every day from June to September he went to swim in the sea twice a day, even the cold water did not frighten him. Once, during such a swim, he was knocked down by a large wave, I tried to lift him, but nothing worked. And he calmly said to me: "Kolya, stand in front of me and give me your hand." I did so, and we made it safely ashore.

In all difficult circumstances, I remembered him as majestic, beautiful and always calm. We walk with him down the street, he is in a cassock, everyone bows to him, and he warned me: "When someone greets me, you gently push me so that I can answer."

Grandpa loved people very much and took care of many. Every day I took a bunch of translations to the post office - he sent a “pretty penny” to people with whom the Lord brought him together at different places of his ministry. He always thought of other people first.

I was with him in his last days. All week he lay with a high fever, but did not complain, but only said: "Here, I won't let you sleep." My grandfather blessed me with a rare icon made on silk - "Christ carrying the cross to Golgotha." He gave me his Bible, commanded me to read every day. Rare family photographs have survived. When I look at them, I return to that wonderful life that passed under the shelter of Vladyka. I have an icon of St. Luke, Archbishop of Crimea and Simferopol. There is an akathist for him and prayers that I try to read. But still, as in childhood, I still call him grandfather. Until now, I often dream that I am leading him by the arm and am afraid that he will only stumble, so that he does not fall. And when I want to remember my grandfather in a special way, I open the Bible he gave me, which he held in his hands every day, I look at his notes, I read the lines that he himself underlined. And the Lord again speaks to me from the suddenly revealed depth of eternity.

Internet digest "St. Luke (Voino-Yasenetsky)"